Written by @PresidentELLA
I used to think saying what was on my mind made me powerful, but I’ve never felt more of a challenge than holding my tongue. I guess I’m officially old enough to know that there is definitely the right time & place for things.
I’ve been trying to be patient with everything & everyone; from my job to my friends to my boyfriend, if it isn’t one thing, it’s another. Over the years, tho, I feel like I’ve finally learned the trick: feel less. I’m not saying that will work for you 🤷🏽♀️ but I’ve definitely been known to put more work into a relationship than it deserves. I started to wonder if, maybe, my expectations for people were too high.
I’m not encouraging anyone to give up on their dreams; I’m encouraging patience... self-sufficiency & a bit of realism. I have the bad habit of calling people out on the things I don’t like. I’ll cut a full relationship if I think it might be unhealthy or stressful, but I do it in time. Some might call it foolish but I stay in relationships way too long, just to prove a point 😤 I’m not good at quitting. What I’ve learned is that people cannot do as much for me as they say they can, even if they want to. Even I have given more of myself that I was actually able to — friendly reminder to never co-sign nobody’s nothing 😑
When someone loves you, they want to give you the world 💎 — but what if they don’t have the world to give? What if you deserve a promotion and title raise, but there’s no money in the budget and people with seniority above you? 🧐 What if your best friend gets into a relationship & has to stay in & take care of home? 🚶🏼♀️👫 I believe that everything has its time. There is a time for when you and your best friend can spend every waking moment... and there will be a time when you don’t. There will be opportunities handed to you and others you have to look for. There will be compromises you need to make and patience you’ll need to build. More importantly though, will be the wisdom you’ll need to gather to know what to do 🔑 took me some time...
I’ve been trying to make sure my moves have positive intentions. I waited until evaluations to tell my boss I needed to look for other opportunities. I made sure our relationship was good before that conversation so that she would feel like she has a chance to help me grow, rather than me just wanting to leave her team. I’ve limited all friends to pure friendship; no obligations, no stress, no drama. I love my new girl group because there are enough people where I don’t need to be present all the time. & I’ve started making associates on purpose; better to know where people stand from the jump & it’s good for the music business 💁🏽♀️ I’ve started spending more time at my place so my boyfriend can see the effort I put in to go to his 🙄💕 I’ve realized that he has to live his life in his time and me in mine... & I also know he’s the only person I want to be with; I’m a relationship kind of girl & we truly do enjoy each other... but how can I expect someone to give me things I don’t have myself? It’s not the right time for certain things yet.
I‘m learning a hell of a lot of patience... and in that, opportunities. If something you want isn’t happening... maybe it’s time for you to work on something else— that doesn’t mean give up on your current task, I mean build up another skill or start on another task while you have downtime. When I’m not working on this magazine, I’m working on my music. If I’m not working on my music, I’m working on my day job. If I need distraction, I have fabric sitting here waiting to be cut & sewn & there’s always a book to read.
I started this blog when I graduated from college & didn’t have a job, so that I would have something meaningful to do. A hobby can be the breath of air you never knew you were missing.
I hope that, if you read this, you go out there and do whatever it is you wanna do — in the right time, of course ♥️♥️♥️♥️
Just my thoughts 💭 just what I was feeling at the time...